I struggle with trusting Jesus because I like control, and I fear the unknown. It helps me shift my mind back to my relationship with Jesus. The message of the Divine Mercy has resonated with me for a while, and repeating the prayer ‘Jesus, I trust in You’ often helps me refocus. Trusting in Jesus is simple, yet it can be so hard. The lyrics of the chorus speak deeply to my fears. The song ‘Jesus I Trust in You’ came out of this time with the Lord. This was the song my soul was singing for such a long time, and I finally surrendered to it. It came out of the deepest cavity of my heart. It was as if God had perfectly planted a song in my heart. Words and a melody started flowing out of me. I sat down on my bed and I let my soul cry to God. Why am I getting worked up? Why can I not let go of what I want? I knew I needed to call out in song at that moment. Fears about my life and my future were starting to creep in my mind and causing a spiraling trail of damaging thoughts. I went into my bedroom, grabbed my notebook, a pencil and my guitar. I was tired of hiding from God, and not putting in the hard work. Last year during Lent, I decided to make the musical gift God gave me a real priority. If I let fear stop me, then I am saying no to God. He is calling me to creatively use the gifts He has given me to make a difference in the world, to draw people close to Him. Through a lot of affirmation and prayer, I realized in a deeper way that I am actually glorifying God when I sing and write music. I wrote a lot in college, but for years after college I avoided songwriting because it is hard, but also because of that fear. The listeners get a little glimpse of the inner workings of the writer’s soul. Creating a song is like creating a window to the heart. My band writes worship music, and for me, sharing what I have created takes a lot of vulnerability. As a singer who writes her own music, there’s a lot of risk involved.
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